Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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