We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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