i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
