then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
