Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
