There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
