I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
