Do you still have your period?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
