it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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