with your own penis?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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