I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize