Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
