Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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