At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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