Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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