I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
