I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
