You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
