Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
