That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Is Oprah even human
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
