Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
