What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
