yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize