this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
