What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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