You're completely useless in the revolution.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
