HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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