I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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