So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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