I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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