he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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