If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
