yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
