He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
