It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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