my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize