i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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