Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
