Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
