If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
