Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize