My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
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