We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
