Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
