It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
