I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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