You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize