i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
