I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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