I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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