I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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