I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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