He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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