Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
