How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize