so explain again why im purple
no
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
