Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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