I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
