shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
