I wanna bring you to show and tell
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
