Can i not drive my cunt home
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
