Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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