I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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