North Korea, Best Korea!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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